Breastfeeding Stories - Christine

This is Christine and her two children Sadie and Arthur. These are her words.

When your body is larger than most you are used to it not working in the same way as everyone else’s, to being let down because of your body. This is particularly difficult in pregnancy, your body is constantly discussed as a negative, your BMI locks the door to a lot of birthing options. So when it came to feeding my first baby I just expected more of the same. I expected my body to let me down, I had formula prep machines and bottles in my shopping basket online and was furiously googling feeding schedules. Until, one conversation with my mother about what type of bottle I should buy for when baby arrived. She just laughed, “don’t be silly! You’ll breastfeed!” I mean I tried to come up with reasons why I should buy these products ‘just in case’, but she was having none of it. I’m not sure I had much of a choice. I fully expected to returning to this conversation weeks later, how wrong was I! 

When Sadie was born the nurse asked if I was breastfeeding and bottle feeding, and I told her breast, I got the stink eye for having not attended a prenatal class and I got a 30 second demonstration on latching. It was perfect, it was overwhelmingly perfect. She was overwhelmingly perfect! I spent the first night stressed to the point of tears that she wasn’t feeding enough, that she was sleeping too much. But when dawn broke the clouds cleared and Sadie and I had each other figured out. 

My big fat body worked! Not only had it created and carried this beautiful tiny baby but my body was keeping her alive, my body that I had given nothing but hate for years was giving me and my baby life. 

I don’t have a big struggle that I had to overcome with Breastfeeding, I mean we had mastitis, very bad biting, aversion, thrush and the rest, going back to work at 12 months postpartum and pumping was very difficult. But the most difficult part was the mental challenge. It was learning to listen to my baby and learning to listen to my body but, breastfeeding had changed my life. It has changed my relationship with my family ( don’t tell my mother but she was right!) it deepened my relationship with my partner Ben, he has been my biggest support and best cheerleader! It gave me a community of women that I can lean on and it created an unbreakable bond with my baby. 

I fed Sadie for 18 proud months, and when the midwife asked how I was feeding Arthur I beamed with pride “ BREASTFEEDING!”